Tuesday, August 23, 2016

McDonalds Activity Tracker Happy Meal or Conditioning Children For The Surveillance State

People who eat McDonald's don't care about their health

This past week the McDonald's fast food restaurant announced that it would be including activity monitor bracelets in their Happy Meals. Why pay $200 for a name-brand fitness tracker when you could get one for free with your delicious gooey cheesy burger, piping hot fresh french fries, and ice cold refreshing Coca-Cola soda pop?

In less than 24 hours McDonald's recalled nearly 30 million fitness trackers because the (low-grade?) plastic was reacting with human skin causing rashes.

Example of what a rash on the wrist might look like if the dangerous toys are in fact harming children

That's the news part. And before I get to the conspiracy part, I just want to point out what a great opportunity it would be for McDonald's to team up with presidential candidate Donald Trump. Both are great American icons. There is probably a huge overlap in people who eat at McD's and are planning on voting for Trump. Both have "donald" in their names. Imagine a McDonald's Trump Tower Sandwich, aka, McTrump. It's the most exquisite burger ever made, trust me I know burgers. A tower of meat covered in cheese and topped with a golden bun. It's huge. People love the McTrump.

[Archive footage]


So these activity trackers are, ostensibly, part of McDonald's plan go re-imagine itself as a health conscious alternative to the McD's of yore in an ever changing food climate. I have seen commercials for recipe changes happening (by 2025) that include removing HFCS from the bread, using real eggs, using real beef, and so on. They've given themselves a 10 year window because it's a big supply chain adjustment to make for a big restaurant, but there is also the potential for people to forget/not care/legal loopholes exempting them from honoring their promises. Read the press release here.

These activity trackers. In general, they're a bit of a bubble right now. A burgeoning boom to stroke the fantasies of people who want to make life changes, but really have no determination to actually do so. And it's so easy now with all of the technology we have. Check out the App Store or Amazon and you'll see no shortage of options that tell you how many steps you've taken today. So on the one hand, McDonald's could just be riding the hype train--it's another grasp to stay relevant in a society ashamed of themselves for ever loving it. Badadabaadaaa!

[Side bar: Speaking of jingles, I've been wanting to address one of their newer jingle promotions "Lemme get a McPick 2!" It's a song to condition rude behavior from patrons. What happened to "may I please have a gooey double cheeseburger, a large hot crispy fries, and a refreshing ice cold Coca-Cola? yes, for here. Ketchup please. Oh I get it myself? Okay" or "I'd like a number 2 plz"...? (You'll have a number 2 alright! (poop joke)) These poor workers working a crappy job for low pay and a long line of rude people that are all "uuuh...yeah, lemme get a pick 2 w/ a lrg fries, apple pie, big mac...what u mean i cant get big mac? it says mc2 i wanna big mac lemme get it!"
This might get a longer exploration on PoundExclaim]

Anyways, it's either McD's trying to stay relevant or there is something more nefarious happening. Something darker with ulterior motives. Let's do a little alphabet soup here: CIA FBI NSA DEA DHS ATF MCDs! Could there be ties between McDonald's and government agencies?

Let's look at the basics of activity trackers. What do they do? Track activities. The McD's tracker is cheap and has limited functionality. It's probably just a simple pedometer. It's difficult to know for sure since all evidence of this existing information has been destroyed by McDs as part of the recall. Pictures show a LCD readout, a soccer button, a tennis button, and a power button. A second option appears to remove the screen and instead have a jump rope button. Basically a pedometer.

This toy is meant to get children conditioned to always wear a tracking device! By the time they are teens with disposable incomes, or adults that need to keep up with the Joneses, their trackers will be more advanced and include things like GPS and voice recognition (always-on microphones for constant surveillance). And they'll feel naked without it. And each tracker will be tied to an account tied to their email/facebook so they can easily conveniently keep track of all of our activities, except really it's so the government can know all about every single thing you do and everywhere you are at all times and you're fine with it!

Before long these will be mandatory as part of universal health care coverage under the guise that they will track our health so we get get better premiums from forced health insurance policies. And they'll know our whereabouts, life signs (heartrate, bloodpressure, and probably more as science advances) and then how long until it's no longer a oneway street of sending out information and someone in some washington office can press a button to administer a toxin or "vaccine" and basically control every person!

This is a slippery slope. We'll be microchipped like cattle and led to the slaughterhouse.

So why did the McD's trackers get pulled if its part of the New World Order Agenda21 plan to monitor the citizens? Is the story about the rash a cover so we won't ask questions. Or was there interference with the plan from an outside agency. It's no secret that there is in-fighting between Govt organizations. Maybe this was a CIA operation and the FBI is squashing it. Does Snowden have docs on McDFit aka Operation FattyTracker. Will we see a wikileaks on the real reasons behind this, or maybe a mention of it in Hillary's deleted emails.

I posit that the plan was as outlined above (track citizens, conditioned behavior) but that these devices were made in China and the Chinese infiltrated the hardware with bug to intercept activity transmissions through an invisible backdoor. Someone in the CIA discovered this but it was too late and the products were already being shipped out. Only 70 kids got rashes out of 30 million units. That could easily have been done covertly on the local level by trained agents.

So what will happen to the recalled units? Will they be destroyed, or fixed and re-issued. Maybe sent to Africa KONY 2012. Even if they cost pennies a piece to manufacture, if you include all of the planning and marketing, this is a huge expense for McD's. Maybe preferential to a class-action lawsuit. But they're totally eating this in the face like double fisting McTrumps. It just doesn't add up.

Anyone out there with inside knowledge that can shine some light on this conspiracy?

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Corn Is A Fungus Controlling Our Brains

Mouseover text:"Conspiracy theory: There's no such thing as corn. Those fields you see are just the stalks of a fungus that's controlling our brains to make us want to spread it."

A recent XKCD comic (jokingly?) posed the hypothesis that corn is a fungus controlling our brains convincing us to spread corn. It's a little laughable based on what we think we know about agriculture, but the root of this idea is something interesting to think about. The comic might also be satire about the American reliance on corn.

Not so silly: Check out this National Geographic article about 5 "zombie" parasites who control the mind of their host. So this exists in nature. Do you think the hosts know that they are being controlled? And there are also substances in nature that completely alter human states of consciousness. It's not toooooo far fetched to think that there actually could be a fungus that controls human minds in a self-propagating parasite way (opposed to a tripping-balls kinda way).

There is also the M.NightShlaimalisyaosifyan classic, The Happening, wherein nature gets angry and makes people kill themselves or something. Preview. (Not to be confused with the fappening)

Or maybe humans are a parasite, controlling the brain of the planet. The possibilities are endless.

There actually is a fungus that grows on corn and is desirable in some culinary circles. Huitlacoche aka corn smut. If anything controls brains it's food. Remember that old adage about the quickest way to a man's heart? But wait, a heart isn't a brain. Although, getting those is half the plot of The Wizard of Oz.

Maybe this is all why the government spreads chemtrails. It's not mind control. It's to break mind control. Kill the corn and release our minds. Name 1 food item with more than 1 ingredient that doesn't have corn in it.


Monday, February 15, 2016

Beyoncé, The New Illuminati, & You



Disclaimer: This verges into celebrity gossip more than conspiracy. But a valued reader requested that I examine the topic and I thought it was interesting enough to pursue.

Old v. New Illuminati

Qualifier: if you're reading this site then I know you've read Dan Brown's breakout hit, the great American best selling novel, The Da Vinci Code. So then you are familiar with the old Illuminati. They were a sacred secret organization dedicated to acting as the hands that pull the puppet strings in the theater of the world stage puppet show. They spawned many popular secret society branch groups, such as The Knights Templar, and well...just pick up a book and educate yourself.

The New Illuminati are a group of musicians who also read The Da Vinci Code and thought it sounded cool and wanted to form their own secret society called the Illuminati and then flaunt it very publicly by frequently making triangle signs and pointing to their eyeball. The goal of the new Illuminati is to control the music industry. Which, I guess, squad goals af?

Carter Family

Two notable members of this secret society are Jay-Z Carter and Beyoncé Knowles. Jay-Z killed Tupac and runs New York. He's not a businessman, he's a business, man. Beyoncé makes music to brainwash young men/women to support the blood diamond trade and eat at Red Lobster. They are married and have a baby named Blue Ivy Carter. Get it? Like Blue IV, blue 4, because all of jayz's albums are called Blueprint [number]. Like a blueprint is an architectural plan and his albums are a plan to run the music industry. And Carter like cartography like making maps. Hmm, Knowles : Know Less. Hmm.

In further celebrity gossip, the power couple is having marital troubles and they hope to fix their relationship problems by having another kid. This always works well. Historically, kids are a great way to save a relationship in trouble. And they have apparently found a surrogate mother to have the baby for them. Not a big deal, right? Lots of people do this for various reasons. They are busy people with a lot of stressors or maybe they've tried on their own with no success. That's not the issue for baby #2 (Blue Vee? Bluevé?).

False Pregnancy?

Things start to get fishy when you look at their first child, though. Beyonce (i'm tired of doing that accent aigu) was very public about her being pregnant. She appeared on television talk shows with her baby bump. But was that a charade? A big facade? A lie to the public? Let's take a look.

Illuminati confirmed? [x-files theme music]

As she goes to take a seat, her stomach deforms and appears to deflate. This fuels the fire of the fake pregnancy debate. Short of actual photo evidence of a prosthetic this sequence of images is fairly convincing.

To refute this claim, the illuminati released this blurry, doctored photograph showing a swollen Knowles.


It's difficult to trust anything in this era of powerful image manipulation software. But so why would ThePowersThatBe want us to believe that Beyonce actually had a child? Why fake this? Why?

Exploring The Whys

Beyonce is definitely a sex symbol and maybe she is infertile and those things don't gel in the narrative that the Illuminati wants to present. Maybe Jay-Z impregnated someone else and the fakery was because of #TraditionalAmericanValues. There's little question that the child is JayZ's based on resemblance:



What if Beyonce lies about her age? Like she is much older and her sister, Solange, is actually her daughter but they were raised as sisters. And this is Solange's baby and Beyonce's granddaughter. But Solange has her own children so why would Beyonce need to try to cover that up? Unless, again, Jay-Z is the father and, again, #traditionalfamilyvalues.

Well let's ask her doctor or a nurse. Surely there was at least one person that saw everything. No one is talking. Illuminati death threats?

Clone Theory

Why? Maybe this was an experiment in human cloning and Blue is JayZ's clone and it had to be covered up for ethical reasons. So then was the clone grown in a lab? I would think that the way to grow a genetic clone would still be in a live human womb. Was Beyonce too high profile to host the clone? Like if something went terribly awry they couldn't just sweep it under the rug. Or maybe cloning requires a recently deceased host mother hooked up to tubes and electrodes in a lab. This theory is making the most sense so far, aside from her actually being pregnant and the photo looked weird. Or that she did have a surrogate, but for celebrity reasons tried to hide that fact. People can do strange things when there are cameras pointed at them at all times.

The Bible Connection

According to the Bible there was a woman, Mary, who gave virgin birth. The child, immaculately conceived, grew up to be the savior of man, Jesus Christ.

I don't know the personal details of Jayz and Bey, but I assume that since they are married they had to consummate and, presumably, have subsequently engaged in sex acts. But so maybe it's the opposite of Jesus' birth, and Blue Ivy is the anti-Christ. And instead of a human giving birth to God's son, Satan gave birth to a human's daughter. Do you see how they're perfect compliments, like Yin and Yang? Opposites, but forever entangled as one.

And so while Satan was pregnant, Beyonce had to pretend. And that would also explain why on different occasions she gave wildly varying due dates and progress reports because Satan's gestation period isn't known. All of the deception makes sense with Satan being the master of deception. So it's reasonable to predict that Blue Ivy will bring about the End Of Times.

Conclusion

So finally, in summary, I conclude that there is not much conspiracy here. There may have been a public deception, but given the high-profile nature of these peoples' lives and their desire for some privacy I do not think it is unwarranted. I can't see this as part of a master plan or greater act of deception or quest for power.

I like the idea of human cloning and how it might be approached in a real-world environment. But again, if experiments were being conducted they most certainly would not be this high profile. Unless the process had already been proven and this was a way to subtly/gradually get the public psyche on-board with such an ethically problematic endeavor.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The NFL War Machine

American Football hero Peyton Manning meets American Wrestling hero Hulk Hogan to discuss how both of their sports are rigged and to eat Papa Johns chicken Parmesan sandwiches under a giant tent made from American flag.


The National Football League is an entertainment organization, which until 2015 was designated non-profit and tax exempt. The annual revenue across the league last year was $7.2 billion American dollars. You're probably familiar with their work as it is pumped into every sensory organ you have at all times. You may even live in or near a city where your hard earned American tax dollars go to building a new stadium every 5 years.

I'm not here to say there is no value in sporting contests. In fact, "SPORTS!" is one of the most valuable and important things in our modern era. It teaches people that there are only two sides to everything and the only thing that matters is you pick a side and everything is either won or lost. Winners. Losers. Now apply this to USA Politics. There is only our team vs their team. Anyways, sociological implications aside...

There are two things I want to bring up with regards to the NFL. One (1) is that it is a multi-million dollar marketing tool for the USA Military. And two (2), it is as planned and as scripted as professional wrestling.


Friday, January 22, 2016

Meteorologists in Bed with Big Bread?



You have to ask yourself: 

  • Why do weather men and women get so excited about weather events?
  • Why do you need to know about weather that is happening someplace else?
  • Who is lining the pockets of the nation's meteorologists?


I propose that the powerful Dairy Lobby and Big Bread corporations have meteorologists in their pocket. Who stands to benefit from inducing panic over weather events? Think about it.

Every time there is a major snow storm on the way, Moms everywhere rush to the supermarket and buy all of the bread and milk. Every time without fail. All of the bread. All of the milk. Who even uses that much bread or milk? Under normal circumstances I have a difficult time finishing a quart of milk or loaf of bread before it goes bad or acquires new growth. Why do moms need all of the bread and milk anyways?

Unless you live out in the country there is no need for food panic. Modern infrastructure is strong enough (thanks obama) that this shouldn't have to happen. It is an old conditional response created by the bread industry and milk interests.

And so since everyone is conditioned to buy bread and milk and hunker down it benefits bread/milk to have meteorologists hype major weather events. They get exciting music and special flashy graphics and extra air time to scare you with "news" of frightening winter weather. Fear Mongering Patent Pending USA.

"Maybe I want to know the weather so I can plan accordingly," you say as a rational person. Fine. So then why do news stations create snow panic when your area is not getting any snow? Half of my local news this morning was about how much snow NY/DC/East coast was going to get POUNDED by THE POLAR VORTEX STORM OF THE CENTURY! I better go buy some bread! I wouldn't want to go a day without a poor-person sandwich (ketchup/kraft single on wonderbread).

And don't forget to close all the schools! The kids need a day off from their government mandated programming to stay at home and consume media! Keep the populace dumb and distracted!

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Tila Tequila's Twitter Feed



Some of you might remember Tila Tequila from whatever MTV show she was on like a decade ago. But most of  you don't know that she died in 2012 and has been replaced with a clone. A clone which happens to be a cyborg Russian spy. And all of you are sitting at home, mind controlled, and all you want to to is "SHARE COCA COLAS N S***"

Publicity stunt, or gone crazy? Check out her Twitter feed @AngelTilaLove and read some of the stuff she is tweeting. It's legendary. Here is an imgur album with some screen grabs.

While this might seem fun and silly, it's common to see celebrities go off the deep end. Brittney Spears went nuts. Amanda Bynes fell off. Lindsay Lohan, obviously. It's unfortunate. Are these people crazy to begin with? Is it a result of fame? The pressures of Hollywood? Or is it something more sinister. These young people are disposable vessels for the men in charge and they need to be disposed of so that fresh meat can be brought in.

Fact: MK-Ultra

What is Hollywood if not a powerful propaganda machine? People love consuming media. Media sets the tone of the national narrative. Whoever controls the media controls the populace. Is it the US Government? Is it secret NAZI's?

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Chipotle vs Big Agro



Chipotle is a fast casual restaurant chain that has become so ubiquitous that other fast casual joints describe their own themes as "it's like Chipotle, but for [sushi, pizza, Mediterranean, salad (salad bar?), etc]." There is certainly power in that and not just brand power. When a part of an entire industry invokes your product/methodology you become like a Kleenex, Xerox, Coke, Sharpie, and other proprietary eponyms.

So everyone knows Chipotle. They have some power. I personally enjoy a good Chipotle burrito and consequently think about them from time to time (both the brand and their burritos). And I think that there is a conspiracy against Chipotle being perpetrated by Big Agriculture.

Besides the a-la-carte style of building your meal, Chipotle is known as being very publicly ingredient conscious. They proclaim using fresh local produce, humanely raised livestock (non-HgH beef, free range chicken, etc), and most recently they have been quite vocal about all of their ingredients being Non-GMO.

Being non-GMO isn't necessarily anti-GMO, but it certainly reads that way. So who would want to shutter a powerful anti-GMO company? Someone who would stand to profit largely from GMOs. Big Agro.

Let's Talk About GMOs.

Before going any further, I want to take a quick minute to discuss Genetically Modified Organisms. I'm not taking sides on this one because it is not required for this article. But it is important to note that there are passionate people/groups on both sides of pro/anti GMO. It is a public conversation that is still in its infancy and has not been resolved.

GMOs usually refer to plant-based life. Agriculture. In its most simple form a strain of wheat--for example--that has been bred over generations from the hardiest strains (ie. to survive both wetter and drier growing conditions) may be considered a genetically modified organism. In a more extreme form, the actual DNA of the plant has been manipulated in a lab.

Arguments for GMOs: do you like fresh tomatoes in the winter that don't rot within 2 days? Do you like larger fruits and vegetables that take less resources to produce? Do you like disease-resistant crops? Then you are probably pro-GMO. These all sound great.

Arguments against GMOs include the classic "mankind playing God" argument that we don't really know what we're doing and in the short term it seems great but the risk of screwing everything up forever is present. That it's not natural, and that natural equals better.

To me, though, the main argument against GMO crops comes in the form of one company having a monopoly on the entire food supply. Because the companies doing the research and creating the GMO crops have trademarks on the strains and require farmers to buy only their seeds if they want to continue receiving their subsidies.  But you can't control nature. If you're an organic farmer and the farmer across the street uses GMO corn and then the wind blows and their custom gmo corn pollinates your organic corn, guess what: you are stealing from the GMO corn company by using their product without a license or paying them.

I'll just say it. That one company is Monsanto. Check out Netflix and YouTube for some good documentaries about Monsanto and its iron grip on farmers.

You get the idea by now. We can talk more in depth about GMOs later. Corn feeds America. Corn feeds livestock. Control the corn, control it all.

Chipotle and the GMO

Here's where the conspiracy part comes into play. So Chipotle is a powerful brand that is very vocally anti-GMO and Big Agro (Monsanto) doesn't like that. And Monsanto is powerful and evil, etc. So they have been sabotaging Chipotle's food suppliers.

First it was Chipotle's Carnitas (pork) supplier that "didn't meet their standards" and so they didn't have carnitas for a while. Now we get reports about E.Coli, salmonella, and norovirus outbreaks across Chipotle's national restaurants. They are even being subpoenaed in a criminal investigation over these outbreaks.

It's not hard to see that maybe they are being deliberately sabotaged by Monsanto in order to sway public opinion on the matter. Outbreaks like this ruin food companies. Remember Chi-Chi's? They were a super popular Tex-Mex joint until all the salsa had Hepatitis-B or something. Now they are extinct. And what better way to show that non-GMO food isn't safe? Have outbreaks. And who would profit from non-GMO food being shown not to be safe? Monsanto.

What do you think? I smell foul play.

In the near future we will either no longer have Chipotle, or we will see them "Proudly serving Genetically Superior Ingredients."