Friday, January 22, 2016

Meteorologists in Bed with Big Bread?

You have to ask yourself: 

  • Why do weather men and women get so excited about weather events?
  • Why do you need to know about weather that is happening someplace else?
  • Who is lining the pockets of the nation's meteorologists?

I propose that the powerful Dairy Lobby and Big Bread corporations have meteorologists in their pocket. Who stands to benefit from inducing panic over weather events? Think about it.

Every time there is a major snow storm on the way, Moms everywhere rush to the supermarket and buy all of the bread and milk. Every time without fail. All of the bread. All of the milk. Who even uses that much bread or milk? Under normal circumstances I have a difficult time finishing a quart of milk or loaf of bread before it goes bad or acquires new growth. Why do moms need all of the bread and milk anyways?

Unless you live out in the country there is no need for food panic. Modern infrastructure is strong enough (thanks obama) that this shouldn't have to happen. It is an old conditional response created by the bread industry and milk interests.

And so since everyone is conditioned to buy bread and milk and hunker down it benefits bread/milk to have meteorologists hype major weather events. They get exciting music and special flashy graphics and extra air time to scare you with "news" of frightening winter weather. Fear Mongering Patent Pending USA.

"Maybe I want to know the weather so I can plan accordingly," you say as a rational person. Fine. So then why do news stations create snow panic when your area is not getting any snow? Half of my local news this morning was about how much snow NY/DC/East coast was going to get POUNDED by THE POLAR VORTEX STORM OF THE CENTURY! I better go buy some bread! I wouldn't want to go a day without a poor-person sandwich (ketchup/kraft single on wonderbread).

And don't forget to close all the schools! The kids need a day off from their government mandated programming to stay at home and consume media! Keep the populace dumb and distracted!



    The only gripe I have about this is your graphic; can you explain how the Kardashians tie into this Konspiracy? Because, you know there's no way in HELL that Khloe is letting any bread get close to her now that she's surgically-enhanced herself to the "hot" one, and Kourtney is probably forgoing karbs to get her best bod back to make Lord Disick jealous/seduce the Biebz. Kim, I just don't even know. Does anyone?

    Everything else though...I'm on board.

    1. KUWTKardashians is shorthand for "keep people distracted with meaningless drivel while real world problems whorl out of control." But on the other hand, maybe you can't make a BREAD connection, though there certainly is--at least conceptually--a MILK connection. And Kim is famous for her fat butt and so like it's social conditioning to make americans want fat butts like kim and so eat more bread and cheese!

      i don't really have a full opinion on a more detailed look at the kardashians because every time i try to talk about it the other person is like "she's 13 you perv!" and it's like well how the hell am i supposed to know that stuff? it explains why she doesn't look like a slug tho i guess. the only thing i kno 4 sure is that bruce/kaitlyn is very brave, God bless her.

  2. And this doesn't even begin to look at who/what is CAUSING the snow. I mean, look at HAARP. And chemtrails.

    And all that ties into NFL conspiracies. What if there is a huge snow crisis that brings a city to its knees? Patriots (America) won Superbowl after 9/11. New Orleans won superbowl after Katrina. It's all rigged. Corrupt. We'll know more about the future after sunday when the champs are picked then we can kno 4 sure. Budlite america consume